trauma

I recently attended The Integrative Medicine Summit hosted by the University of Arizona Andrew Weil Center for Integrative Medicine. Andrew Weil, an advocate of alternative medicine, was one of the presenters.

A few minutes into the nine-hour conference, Weil said, “Trauma is universal.” He elaborated by saying that, whether it’s capital-T or lower-t trauma, every family experiences trauma at some point in their lives.

Sigh.

Trauma can’t be escaped no matter your socioeconomic status, skin color, or geography. It’s part of the human condition.

As I’ve mentioned in earlier posts, a main reason why I decided to restructure my book and write it from an adult’s perspective processing childhood medical trauma is because I wanted readers to connect with my story. I wanted readers to see themselves reflected in my book, even if my medical journey is one of a kind.

So here’s my question: If we can’t avoid trauma, what can we do to make post-trauma more manageable? I believe we begin by making it okay to talk about it—and then educating ourselves about how the traumatic experience impacts us and what we can do to mitigate this.

One of the speakers at The Integrative Medicine Summit was Gabor Maté. He referenced his book, “The Myth of Normal: Trauma, Illness & Healing in a Toxic Culture,” published in 2022. I liked this book immediately because of its title.

After getting sick as a child, I spent the next twenty-plus years pretending as though what my family and I had endured hadn’t happened. I now realize retrospectively that this defense mechanism allowed me to pretend like I was “normal” and pretend like I could relate to my peers. Maybe by calling out that none of us is “normal” is a good starting point.

I just started reading Maté’s book. I’ll share a few things I’ve already learned.

First, many of our apparent “strengths” that we hone as a result of our trauma become liabilities in time. In my case, my perseverance—I will not quit until I’ve mastered this again—eventually became my downfall. Essentially, I was going to work myself to the bone, regardless of my body’s signals that I was pushing too hard.

Second, because many survivors disconnect from their bodies, they live in their heads most of the time. The net result of this is that people become numb to their feelings. Perhaps this seems familiar to some of you?

Lastly, many people who experience trauma develop feelings that they’re “not enough.” For many years, I thought, if only I had been stronger, if only I had fought harder, I wouldn’t have succumbed to illness.

How are these reactions countered? Having awareness that you’ve been traumatized is the first step. After this, Maté states that developing self-compassion is critical.

For those of you who have worked through, are working through, or will be working through trauma, know that you’re not alone and that it’s this human experience that actually connects all of us. Trauma is indeed universal.